Reconnecting

My dad stopped by a few hours ago.  If you have read my earlier posts you know that our relationship is strained.  He apologized for his part in our argument.  I can’t remember the last time he has sincerely apologized to me.

I guess I may have finally figured out how to have an adult relationship with my parents.  It turns out that I have to act like an adult.  Go figure.  I don’t think we realize how hard this can be, especially if our parents aren’t acting like adults.  Plus, I’ve been acting like a kid with my parents since... well, I was a kid.  That’s a long standing habit.

But it turns out, when I actually pulled off acting like an adult my dad was forced to think about how his actions and words might be making me feel.  When I acted like a kid with him he could tell himself that he was doing was best for me, even if I didn’t think so.  Maybe I’ve finally became an adult in my father’s head.  We’ll see.

I know that changes in ourselves and our relationships take time.  Our progress towards making changes in our lives was once described to me (by my counselor) as looking like a graph with a series of ups and downs slowly making its way towards the top of the chart.  We all backslide.  My relationship with my dad is going up on the charts right now.  At some point we’ll slide back down, but I hope our relationship is slowly making its way towards the top of the chart.

Love,

Ann